Zoie's "Uncle Angel"...

Some of you know about this and some don't, so here is the story...

On April 20, 1969, my Mom had a baby boy, my older brother, who died during birth and was stillborn...probably with today's technology, he would have been fine, as nothing was physically wrong with him...it's been a void I've always felt even though I didn't come along until a couple of years later...but I always knew from when I was very little that there was something very special about this baby we never knew and I always felt a connection to him. I've always had him pictured in my mind as a rosy, round-cheeked baby with bright blue eyes and curly blond hair and sweet red lips...I'm sure part of that comes from the fact that there is an angel on his headstone that looks like how I always imagined baby Norman Glenn Doxon to look...

When I found out I was pregnant with Zoie and that I was due April 23rd...one of my first thoughts (besides HOW will I ever do this?!) was, "Oh my gosh...I hope I don't have this baby on NGD's birthday...it just wouldn't be right because that's HIS day!" I didn't want to take anything away from the experience my Mom...and the rest of the family...had where he was concerned. Plus, realizing I was about to have a baby of my own, it made me appreciate what my Mom had to go through when she lost this child - still I can't even imagine it. I didn't want to overshadow it in anyway...but, as it usually happens, God had other plans...Zoie DID end up being born 37 years later on the same day...April 20, 2006. Mom was right there by my side and I think it brought her comfort that Zoie did arrive on that day...we knew just exactly who the Guardian Angel was that accompanied Zoie on her trip into this world and it's a blessing to know that her Uncle will always be there for her as her Angel to watch over her...

On our recent trip to Kansas, we stopped at the cemetary where Baby Norman's grave is and placed a small wooden cross with some baby blue carnations and daisies on the grave...I just stood back to see what Zoie would do. You'll see this in the photos, but she just looked up at me at first and then, very sweetly, she bent down and laid both of her hands flat on the headstone and smiled...then stood up and started running around the cemetary and laughing into the breeze. It was probably one of the most touching things I've seen in my life so far...and whether there really is some kind of connection there, or if these are just stories that we as adults contrive to make things make sense and help us understand and get closure, I know that I'll keep this story, and that moment in the cemetary, close to my heart as long as I live...and Zoie will always know about this very special person that she never knew. Or maybe she does know....